Monday, September 24, 2012

What is Bipolar Disorder?





Also known as manic-depressive illness, bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in a person's mood, energy and ability to function.

Symptoms
Bipolar disorder causes dramatic mood swings - from overly "high" (mania) to sad and hopeless, and back again, often with periods of normal mood in between.
Symptoms of mania include:
  • Increased energy, restlessness
  • Excessively euphoric mood
  • Extreme irritability
  • Racing thoughts, talking very fast and being easily distracted
  • Unrealistic belief in one's abilities and powers
  • Poor judgment
  • Increased sexual drive
  • Substance abuse
Symptoms of depression include:
  • Feelings of hopelessness and pessimism
  • Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed, including sex
  • Sleeping too much or not being able to sleep at all
  • Change in appetite
  • Decreased energy
  • Thoughts of suicide
Sometimes, severe episodes of mania or depression also include symptoms of psychosis (such as hallucinations and delusions).
  
Cause
Most scientists agree this illness is caused by a combination of genetics and environment. Bipolar disorder tends to run in families, and research suggests genetic precursors to the disorder. In addition, a major stressor or life event is believed to trigger the disease in those that have the genetic predisposition.

Treatment
People with bipolar disorder can lead healthy and productive lives when the illness is effectively treated. Without treatment, however, it tends to worsen. Because bipolar disorder is a recurrent illness, long-term preventive treatment is strongly recommended. A strategy that combines medication and psychological treatment is optimal for managing the disorder over time. If those methods are ineffective, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) may be considered. ECT is a highly effective treatment for severe depressive, manic, and/or mixed episodes.

Getting Help
Anyone with bipolar disorder should be under the care of a psychiatrist skilled in the diagnosis and treatment of the disease. People with the illness may need assistance in seeking help due to these factors:
  • They often do not realize how impaired they are, or blame the problem on other causes.
  • They may need encouragement from family and friends in order to get help.
Someone in the midst of a severe episode may need to be hospitalized for his/her own protection, possibly against his/her wishes. 

Monday, September 17, 2012

How to Tell if Your Child is the Target of Bullying




Recently, we posted an entry on how to help your child if they're being bullied, but it's not always easy to tell if someone is a target of bullying.  Most children are embarrassed or are afraid of making things worse.  They're worried about retaliation or being seen as weak.  Often times they will deny or hide it, but there are signs to be noticed.


  • Unexplained or reoccurring marks and bruises
  • Loss of toys, school items, money or other property
  • Doesn't want to go to school or be around others
  • Afraid of riding the bus
  • Unusually attached and doesn't want to be left alone
  • Withdrawn and evasive
  • Change in behavior or personality
  • Depressed, moody, or upset without seemingly any reason
  • Frequent headaches, stomach pains, or misses school for sick days
  • Sudden change in sleeping and eating habbits
  • Bullies younger children or siblings
  • Avoids school bathrooms or anywhere else without adult supervision
  • Abruptly fewer friends
  • Extremely hungry when they get home due to food or money being taken
  • Unexplained drop in grades
  • Says they feel helpless
If you do suspect your child is being bullied, let them know you're open to talking with them and that you won't get mad if they tell you something.  Sometimes children don't feel that they'll be believed so it is important that you let them know you are there to support them.  Also, talk to your child's friends, teachers and anyone else who might have an idea of what's going on, including your child's friends' parents.  Other people may notice something and be able to help, maybe even want to help.  The most important thing is to make sure your child knows they are not alone.

Source:  http://www.micheleborba.com/

Monday, September 10, 2012

Types of Manipulators


This past week, Drew Peterson was found guilty after 14 hours of deliberation of killing his third wife, Kathleen Savio.  For Kathleen's family, there was little doubt something malicious had happened, yet for years her death had been ruled to be an accident.  It wasn't until Peterson's fourth wife, Stacy Peterson, disappeared in 2007 that authorities re-examined the case.

Through the course of the trial, a portrait was painted of the unhealthy relationship Kathleen had with Peterson.  They had filed for divorce after it had been discovered that Peterson was having an affair a 17-year-old, who would become his fourth wife.  Police reports show 18 separate responses for domestic fights.  Her family has said they felt something was wrong by the way Kathleen acted when he was around, showing signs of manipulation.

Emotional grooming and manipulation are commonly found in unhealthy relationships.  One partner, in these situations, will manipulate the feelings and emotions of their partner in a relationship as well as other people in their lives.  They look for what people need or like and fake being able to fulfill those needs, tricking someone into being in love with them.  They also seek to create a desired emotional reaction in others, whether it be anger, depression, joy, whatever it takes to get them what they want.  They also use emotional blackmail through threats of fear or through guilt.

These manipulators can be viewed as types based on the strategies they employ:

Constant Victim:  these are people who tell one-sided stories, are never in the wrong, and try to manipulate others to anger in their defense.

One-Upper:  the One-Upper needs to be the top.  They're the types who always have the better/tougher/worse story than you to share.

Powerful Dependent:  this strategy is to play weak and stroke the ego of others, getting them do do things for them to take care of them.  They are also quick to lash out against those who don't fall for their trick.

Triangulator:  these people will play your best friend, praising you and turning you against others while doing exactly the same with the other side, looking to stir up a fight.

Blasters:  Blasters are like the name says.  They are quick to blast you with angry rants, intimidating others with fear.

Projector:  a tactic where one person puts blame and guilt on another, blaming others for being the problem rather than themselves.

Intentional Mis-Interpreter:  a person who intentionally misleads others with partial truths and lies to ruin the reputations of others.  They like to gossip while manipulating the details.

The Flirt:  someone who needs the attention of everyone in the room and uses flirtation to control others.

Intimidator:  these people are quick to use force and threats to scare someone into doing what they want.

Multiple Offender:  the most common type, the Multiple Offender uses a mix of strategies from the other types of manipulators, using whatever tactics will get them what they need.

These are only brief descriptions, and each type could be described in length, but I'm sure many people can be reminded of someone they know when looking through these types.  Although someone may show some signs of fitting into one of these types, it's important to remember that a healthy relationship requires work.  By recognizing that a relationship is about balance and compromise, people can avoid falling into the role of a manipulator.

Monday, September 3, 2012

How to Help Your Child with Bullying




With a new school year beginning, many students are dreading a return to the lockered halls of youth.  For them, school is a place full of torment where they will be locked in with bullies for hours a day, desperately searching for an escape.

Often times, children don’t tell anyone they are being bullied.  They want to protect their parents from knowing something is going on, that they are unhappy.  They also don’t want their parents involved; fearing involvement from adults could only make things worse.  But what they don’t realize is adults can help in more ways than taking over the fight and complaining to the bully’s parents or teachers.

Find new activities.  One of the ways a bully will select a target is to look for someone without many friends and low confidence.  By enrolling in new activities, especially ones with kids your child wouldn’t be in school with, children have the opportunity to make new friends free of the history carried from years of school.  It’s a fresh start.  The new friends will give your child a support system and the confidence to go to school without the isolation that comes from being bullied.  Having friends outside of school shows them there is a world beyond those walls, decreasing loneliness, and the built up self-esteem makes them less likely a target.

Make sure they know it’s not their fault.  Many people, including kids, feel that bullying is caused because someone is different.  The difference is just the excuse selected by the bully to show their power to other students.  Bullies are looking to show their place in the school hierarchy.  That’s why they find targets that have only a few friends and not likely to fight back.  It’s not about the victim, but showing where they stand.  Recent studies have shown 80% of people have been a victim of bullying and 70% of people have bullied.  It’s all about showing where they fit in that ladder of who bullies who and who gets bullied by who.

Brainstorm solutions with your child.  Telling your child “all you have to do is…” will only make them feel worse if that’s something they’ve already tried.  Instead of telling them what they have to do, have a discussion with them to think of things they could do.  It allows them to stop trying strategies that didn’t work without feeling like they failed and it leads to better solutions than their initial reaction.

Stop the bullying from happening again.  Okay, this is the time where it’s okay to seem like the “nosy parent.”  Talk to teachers, coaches, staff, whoever is in charge where the bullying is taking place.  Let them know what’s happening so they can intervene.  I sometimes hear “I have 20 kids to look after.  I can’t focus on just one.”  True, there may be plenty of kids, but there is probably only a handful that they really need to keep an eye on while the others are well behaved.  If the ones they always have to monitor are the ones who are the bullies, it should be even easier to keep tabs on things.  If you can’t change the environment though, you can always remove them from the environment.  You either get the bully away from your child or you get your child away from the bully.

These are only some of the tactics to help someone who is being bullied and unfortunately there is no single tactic.  Don’t be afraid to try new strategies, no matter how simple they may seem.  The important thing to remember is bullying isn’t about who the victim is, but the bully wanting to show power and control.  Your child shouldn’t change who they are because of that.