Rep. Akin is not alone.

Rep. Todd Akin started a firestorm last week that blazed around the world.  His comments of "legitimate rape" rarely resulting in pregnancy, and if so, the female body having a way of shutting down the pregnancy have brought the ire down from both sides of the political aisle.  He has since apologized, claiming to have misspoken and tried to clarify his statement.  Many people have been shocked, disgusted, and disturbed by his comments and in disbelief that anyone could possibly think that.  In my five years of sexual violence prevention, all I had to say was "Yeah, they're out there."

 Rep. Akin's statement to me was like peeking behind the curtain of a magic show.  Behind all the glamor and flash we saw the tricks and deception and found there was no magic.  It's a belief that still clings on like dusty cobwebs as society moves forward, this idea that a "legitimate rape" is a rare occurrence; that women cry rape to cover promiscuous behavior or out of vindictive spite.  It's a hold-over way of thinking from the days when "rule of thumb," where a husband could beat his wife with a stick no wider than his thumb, could still be found on the books and that a wife could never deny her husband sex.  But much like racism, this sexist attitude still lingers.   How can something that has created such an uproar have survived to this day?  The answer is simple.

Denial.  Not denial that there is a problem.  If we have seen anything in the passed week, it is that many agree this is a problem.  No, the denial is with those who hold onto the belief.  When I speak on prevention, encouraging healthy masculinity and showing how strength isn't what you can take, but how much you can give, I've found people who will argue on "what is rape?"  They claim there's nothing wrong with giving a girl a few drinks to "loosen her up."  They don't believe a woman can change her mind on sex.  They justify their behavior by claiming "everybody does it."  They argue so strongly on these grounds because, I suspect, admitting these things are wrong would mean they've done some wrong things.

People hate rape.  There is no question about that.  You can ask anyone and you would never get the response of "Rape?  Yeah, I guess it's alright."  Everybody knows rape is bad.  That is why people will argue on the grounds of entitlement or against an act like getting a girl drunk as being rape.  The idea of "legitimate rape" has survived because there are people who are afraid they won't like what they see when they look in the mirror.  So they discredit victims, claim they are crazy, and hide behind defenders saying "they would never do something like that.  They're not that type of person."

So what do we do?  We believe victims.  We hold assailants accountable for their actions.  We don't dismiss behavior as "boys being boys."  These ideas survive because we allow them to.  They have been passed down for generations as simple comments and attitudes, things that "never crossed the line."  But if we don't do anything about it then, why are we so shocked to hear Akin's comments.