Suicide: Recognizing the Signs and Getting Help

 

 

Suicide is a tragic event with strong emotional repercussions for its survivors and for families of its victims.  More than 36,000 people in the U.S. kill themselves every year, according to a 2010 study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention making suicide the 11^th leading cause of death across all ages in the United States and the third leading cause of death for teenagers.  

 

Who is at Risk?

People of all ages can attempt suicide, but some groups are at higher risk than others. Men are four times more likely than women to die from suicide; however, three times more women report attempting suicide.  Rates are high among adolescents and people over age 65.  Several factors can also contribute to the risk of committing suicide, such as:

 

•       Previous suicide attempt(s)

•       History of depression, an eating disorder or other mental illness

•       Alcohol or drug abuse

•       Family history of suicide, violence or abuse

•       Physical illness

•       Feeling alone

 

Warning Signs

When a person is thinking about suicide, he or she will likely display indications, which may include:

 

•   Threats, talk or writing of suicide or hurting oneself

•   Withdrawal from family and friends

•   Sudden, excessive and/or uncontrolled rage

•   Taking unnecessary risks or exhibiting self-destructive behavior

•   Increased alcohol and/or drug use

•   Hopelessness

•   Dramatic mood swings

 

Not all suicides are planned; they may be impulsive after experiencing a traumatic event such as a breakup or unplanned pregnancy.  However, in these cases, depression is usually present.

 

Prevention

If someone you know is threatening suicide, it is important to start a conversation regarding his or her feelings.  Most of the time, the person will talk willingly.  Make sure to listen and express empathy.  Do not leave him or her alone, and if he or she refuses professional help, see that a parent or trusted friend is informed.

 

If it is you struggling with suicidal thoughts, explain how you are feeling with someone you trust. Do not be ashamed to admit you need help.  Seek help from a professional or call the National Suicide Hotline which is always staffed, confidential and ready to listen at 800-SUICIDE.

 

Coping with Suicide

According to the American Institute of Suicidology, an estimated 4.6 million Americans have had loved ones commit suicide.  The grief associated with this act can be complex.  Not only is there sadness, but guilt may accompany it, if the person thinks it was possible to have prevented it.  It is important to get help from a mental health professional or grief counselor, and some people find it helpful to join a support group or keep a journal.

Why Should Men Care About Rape?

Often when I have a discussion about how to prevent rape there's something I notice about the others around me.  Very rarely are there other men having this discussion.  There's a number of reasons why this could be.  It could be what they want to say is already being said by some of the women.  One reason may be they're worried about the assumptions others might make about them if they get involved in a "women's" issue.  Another reason, which I hope isn't the answer, could be that they don't care about rape.

Why should men care about rape?  It's a question I will always ask other men.  It's something that often stumps them.  We know rape is bad, but we never really talk about why men should care about it.  There are many reasons why beyond because rape is bad, but here are just a few:

Men are victims of rape.  Although the media typically shows victims of rape being women, one in sex men will experience rape.    It is rarely reported though.  Men are told they're not supposed to be victims.  They're told they are supposed to be strong, fearless, and to take charge.  What would others think of a man then if he was a victim of sexual assault?  Because of outside pressure, many men don't exercise their strength or fearlessness and take charge to bring their assailant to justice, yet it is the very embodiment of courage men are told to have.

Men know victims of rape.  Whether they know it or not, many men know a survivor of sexual assault.  When you look at the statistics, 1 in 4 women, 1 in 6 men, 1 rape every 2.5 minutes, there is a strong possibility of knowing a survivor.  Think of how many men and women we know in our lives, how many we come in contact with every day.  If it's more than 4 women and more than 6 men, it's likely you may know a survivor.  By showing you are willing to do something about rape, you are showing them you are someone who will listen and won't judge them by what has happened to them.

Men are confined by rape.  Ask any woman what they've been told to keep from being raped and they can give you a list that looks something like this:  park under a light; don't walk alone; carry pepper spray.  They're told not to trust any men when they're alone because that man could be a rapist.  Whenever I see someone with car trouble in a parking lot, I always make sure I let them know I'm coming to help well before I get to them, for one so I don't get sprayed with pepper spray.  But this is something that all men can relate to, having to pay the price for another man who committed rape.  Which leads us to...

Men commit rape.  Although most men do not rape, most rapes are committed by men.  It's why men are confined by rape.  Thanks to a select few, any of us men are a suspect of a future crime.  Because of this, rape is not just a women's issue, but also one for men to have an equal concern.

Men can stop rape.  If we hold ourselves and each other accountable, men are capable of preventing a large number of rapes.  If we step in and act when we see something that doesn't look right; if we act as role models for other men; if we show concern on our part for rape being an issue, we can stop rape.

If you'd like to know more about sexual assault prevention or schedule a presentation, contact Ash Christians at 989-790-7500 ext. 226 or achristians@sac-saginaw.org.

Top Military Officials Release a New Strategic Direction on Sexual Assault

Last week, the United States' Joint Chiefs of Staff and commandant of the Coast Guard banded together and released a letter detailing a 32-star strategic direction for the armed services on sexual assault.  This new initiative took place the same week as a summit for US military sexual assault survivors convened in Washington, DC.

In the letter, Army Gen. Martin E. Dempsey, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff; Navy Adm. James A. Winnefeld, the vice chairman; Gen. Ray Odierno, Army chief of staff; Adm. Jonathan W. Greenert, chief of naval operations; Gen Norton A. Schartz, Air Force chief of staff; Gen. James F. Amos, commandant of the Marine Corps; Air Force Gen. Craig R. McKinley; chief of the Nation Guard Bureau and Am. Robert Rapp Jr., commandant of the Coast Guard emphasized the focus for sexual assault should be on prevention and response.  They also stressed a call for leadership from commanding officers to lead the charge to take the strategy seriously.

The plan also laid out five lines of effort when addressing sexual assault:  prevention, investigation, accountability, advocacy, and assessment.

Sexual assault has been brought up for several years now as a concern for the US military.  In the last two years 6,350 cases have been reported with an estimated 86% of sexual assaults going unreported.  Some of the reasons victims have stated for not reporting the offenses include the investigations being handled by their alleged attacker or fear of backlash for disrupting the cohesion of the unit.

A documentary detailing the struggles of service members who have been victims of sexual assault took home awards this past January at the Sundance Film Festival.  The filmmakers behind "The Invisible War" have supported the initiative of the top military officers but also have their own recommendations:


Have all sexual assault complaints referred to a command that is outside of the victim's chain of command, so there will be no conflicts of interest

Create a sexual assault database within the Department of Defense that is required to share information with the Department of Justice civilian sexual offender database.

End it's  practice of diagnosing victims of sexual assault with personality disorders and then discharging them from the military without being eligible for benefits.

Issue a formal apology to the hundreds of thousands of women and men who've been sexually assaulted in the military over the past 75 years.
 

In the end, what is important is the awareness that has been given to sexual assault by the US military and its emphasis on prevention.  Sexual assault prevention is more than teaching "no means no."  It is addressing the attitudes which lead to sexual violence, a desire to force power and control over another.

Keep Safety in Mind this Summer

It's May now and that means Summer is almost here.  Kids will be getting out of school and be home more.  Maybe you have a family vacation in the works or your kids will be going away to a summer camp.  Now is a good time to start preparing for your children to have a fun, safe summer with a few tips from our Sexual Assault Center.

For the family vacation, take some time to get familiar with the area.  Use a site like Family Watchdog to be aware of offenders that might be in the area.  Familiarize yourself where local police stations and hospitals are in case you need to find them in an emergency.

Take the time to get to know the people who will be around your kids.  If they are going to a summer camp, ask for a chance to talk with the counselors.  Maybe your children will be staying home or going to a babysitter.  Use the time until Summer Break to reconnect with your neighbors.  It's a chance to get an extra set of eyes looking out for your kids.  Don't forget to check if any new offenders have moved into your neighborhood.  Make sure you get to know the babysitter and daycare workers.

Finally, use this time as a refresher for your kids about safety.  Make sure they know who they can trust, how to react to strangers, and what they can do in an emergency.  Your kids are the last line of defense when it comes to their safety.  Help them be safe by making sure they are prepared.

Have any questions about what more you can do?  Feel free to write a comment!

Mid-Michigan Schools Take Action on Bullying Policies

Our Prevention Coordinator, Ash Christians, spoke with WNEM TV5 on Michigan's Matthew's Law requiring schools to have a bullying policy.  Not only do we offer free workshops for parents, staff, and kids, but we also provide policy advising and consulting.  Why not take advantage of our expertise?