Life After Sexual Assault

Often times when discussing sexual assault, we become so focused on the trauma the victim has suffered that we forget to mention there is a life afterward.  There has been no clearer of a reminder than that of Elizabeth Smart.

For many people, the name Elizabeth Smart will sound familiar.  She had been kidnapped from her home in 2002 and spent the following nine months being sexually assaulted by her kidnapper, Brian David Mitchell, while constantly on the move.  She had been rescued in 2003 but her case wasn't able to come to a close until 2010 when Mitchel was sentenced to a life sentence along with his wife, who was sentenced to 15 years.

Smart has gone on to be an advocate and an activist for abused children, speaking out on a national level against sexual abuse and continuing to live her life.  Just over one week ago, she married Matthew Gilmour in Hawaii, having an unannounced ceremony to avoid unwanted attention.

The important message to take from this is that she is continuing to live her life.  There is a misconception that victims are forever damaged, never able to recuperate from the trauma.  There are many people out there like Elizabeth Smart, people who are able to heal from the trauma.  That's why it's important that when we look to bring attention to sexual assault, for all the harm it causes, we can't forget to celebrate all those who have healed and overcome.

Everybody has their own way of healing and there is help out there for them.  The Sexual Assault Center of Child and Family Services is committed to help survivors through prevention, advocacy, and therapy.  If you'd like to know more or are looking for help with sexual assault, please call us at 989-790-9118.

Pentagon Allows Women to Serve Closer to Front Lines, Some Say It Will Increase Rapes

Recently, the Pentagon has announced a new decision to allow female servicemembers to serve closer to the front lines, going against a 1994 policy which previously prohibited them from having positions near combat units.  These new opportunities allow women to apply for jobs that provide more training and better pay.  It was a move in favor of gender equality that didn't take long to generate controversy.  This was a topic that had been debated frequently with servicewomen stating they are just as capable as their male counterparts to defend their county while others like Rick Santorum arguing men would feel compelled to protect the women and therefore women would be a distraction.

Enter Liz Trotta, a commentator for Fox News who has drawn criticism for statements she made in an interview.  Her argument against the Pentagon's change in policy was the government is already spending enough money because of sexual assault in the military and adding women to the front lines would increase that spending due to an increase in rapes.  Her statements boil down to claiming the blame of a sexual assault falls on the victim because it was caused by the victim being a woman.

Her comments completely ignore the fact that sexual assault is not caused by the victim.  There is nothing a victim can do, say, or imply that can cause a rape, whether they are a man or a woman.  The truth is whether or not someone is assaulted is determined by the one who commits the rape.  They are the ones who make the choice to sexually assault someone.  To think otherwise is to deny the very motivation behind rape:  power and control.  Sexual assault isn't committed because of an assailant's lust or finding a victim too irresistible.  It is committed because the rapist wants to express power or control.  They want to show they can do whatever they want to whomever they want.  Anything the victim has done has nothing to do with the attacker's intentions.

It is because of harmful, false beliefs like Trotta's that sexual assault continues to be an issue.  They place the blame not on the attacker, but on the victim.  The Sexual Assault Center of Child and Family Services works to educate people on sexual assault through our prevention activities because as Liz Trotta has shown, there are still people who need to be reached.  Prevention isn't making sure people aren't victims.  Prevention is making sure people don't become rapists.

How Sexual Abuse has Affected Youth Sports

It's been a while since the media has covered the allegations against Jerry Sandusky but the passing of Joe Paterno has also reminded us of the controversy.  As the attention fades away, replaced by the next controversy, we can't forget the lessons that can be learned from it.  I've often heard comments like "the world is crazy now" and "this stuff never used to happen."  Sexual abuse in coaching is nothing new.  Many successful athletes like Margaret Hoelzer, Theo Fleury, and Sheldon Kennedy have all come forward and revealed a history of abuse.  So what has changed?  Why are we hearing about it now?

Two important things have changed.  The first is that victims are treated differently.  Before, there was a fear for survivors that they would be blamed, ridiculed, or even not believed.  Sadly, those fears weren't unwarranted.  If sexual abuse didn't fit the text book ideal of what rape was, then it must not have happened.  The common belief was victims were always women and abusers were always creepy loners with vans and mustaches.  These predators were supposed to be someone nobody liked or got along with because they were evil to the very core.  Someone you just knew was bad.  Unfortunately that couldn't be further from the truth.  They are sometimes friends, neighbors, coaches, and family members.  They want to be liked.  That's how they get away with it.  Too many people are misled by believing "it couldn't be your neighbor of 15 years; he always mows your lawn when you're on vacation and is just a nice guy" or "it couldn't be the little league coach; he's always so good with the kids".

Then there's the belief that things like that don't happen here.  Sexual assault is a city problem.  That's what people in Hinsdale, IL thought before Robert Mueller, a former basketball coach, was convicted of having sexual relationships with two female students.  The idea of "we're a small community and we don't have those kind of people here" actually attracts sexual predators.  Just as offenders pay attention to which states have the easier laws for their sex offender registry, they also pay attention to what communities they will likely be noticed in.  It is the very definition of ignorance is bliss.

But that brings us to the second thing that has changed.  People are more open to victims now.  They are willing to believe that anyone is could be an abuser.  The more open and understanding we become, the better our chances are of preventing sexual abuse.  Survivors feel safer to come forward and predators can be stopped before a controversy breaks with a long list of victims.

We can also accept the idea that sexual abuse can happen here, but we're not going to let it.   The first step to combat sexual abuse in sports is to have policies and trainings in place on mandatory reporting and proper conduct.  A coach wrapping his arms around a batter to help practice a swing may have completely innocent intentions, but how does it appear?  It is something some abusers have used to blur boundaries with children.  It's not always safe to just rely on people having common sense either.  We develop common sense from life experiences, and those experiences come with mistakes.  By having trainings for coaches, those mistakes can be avoided.  By parents and coaches watching each other, we can all work together to protect children.

If you have questions or are interested in any trainings for teaching or coaching staff, sexual assault and harassment policies, please contact Ash Christians at the Sexual Assault Center of Child and Family Services by calling 989-790-7500 ext. 226 or emailing achristians@sac-saginaw.org.

Teenage Girls Diagnosed with Mass Hysteria

As the story continues to unfold, more and more students in LeRoy, New York are coming forward suffering symptoms similar to Tourette's.  The students, mostly female, have been plagued with ticks and outbursts for months now without any sign of what could be causing it.  Although some people like HLN's Dr. Drew Pinsky and Erin Brockovich have been pushing for further testing for environmental factors, a doctor who has been treating some of the students has announced a diagnosis of mass hysteria.  So what exactly is mass hysteria?  I went to Child and Family Services' Counseling Center Director, Mark Abbenante to learn more.

Mass hysteria is a psychogenic illness created by large amounts of anxiety or stress which Freud called a conversion disorder.  Basically, if we are being stressed out by work, kids, or a hectic schedule, it starts to take a toll on our body.  Have you ever had a long day where you come home with sore shoulders or a headache?  That can be the stress showing up physically.  Sure, there are ways to treat the symptoms like pain relievers or a massage, but without treating the cause of the pain they will just come back again.  To really stop the symptoms you need to find the cause.

Mass hysteria has usually occured where people are closely associated, typically with adolescent girls in schools.  Those afflicted by it will show similar symptoms, such as fainting, ticks, or difficulty breathing.  In an outbreak in Portugal back in 2006, as many as 300 students across 14 different schools presented symptoms of a fictional virus shown on the television show Strawberries with Sugar.  After no cause could be identified, the incident was diagnosed as mass hysteria.

I asked Mark how would he treat someone suffering from mass hysteria.  Once a client has received a medical evaluation diagnosing mass hysteria the psychological treatment can begin.  Mark said the first part of the counseling would be to identify the stressor.  He would have them think back to prior weeks, looking for a cause they maybe didn't realize like something at work, bullying, or a bad grade.  Once the stress can be treated, it is likely the physical symptoms will disappear.

The Sundance Film Festival Sheds Light on Rape in the Military

A recently released report by the Defense Department has shown reported sexual assaults in military academies are on the rise.  Like many statistics on crime it's possible to interpret these findings from two different sides.  On one hand, it can be viewed that more and more rapes are occurring in the United States' military academies.  On the other, many people are seeing it as a sign that students are more willing to come forward and report the rape, demonstrating a changing attitude on sexual assault in the military.

Last week though, a documentary shown at the Sundance Film Festival displayed the hardships many victims have faced from not only the initial assault but also with trying to report it within the military.  "Invisible War" is a film detailing the epidemic of sexual assault that has been plaguing the United States Armed Forces.  With the military might of 1.5 million troops, shocking statistics are brought to light by the documentary.  1 in 5 servicewomen have been a victim of sexual assault and 1 in 100 servicemen.

Even more shocking is their path to find justice.  If a victim wishes to report their attack, they must do so to their commanding officer, who in some cases is the attacker.  If the commander chooses to investigate, regardless of the findings or how solid of a case it may be, the commander can choose not to proceed with a court martial.  This process has resulted in only 8% of sexual assaults being prosecuted in 2009.  On top of it being almost impossible for victims to have their cases even heard, many victims have also experienced further trauma by having their careers halted, even disciplinary action against them, because of reporting the assault.

The purpose of the film is not to slam the military, but show the justice process needs to be revamped.  Many critics have suggested the cases be conducted by civilian courts, rather than instituting a brand new structure that would need to be created.

What is encouraging though is the help available to the servicemen and women who are victims of sexual assault.  Organizations like the Military Rape Crisis Center help bring attention to the issue and survivors who have been victimized while in the military are just as eligible as anyone to use the free services of Child and Family Services' Sexual Assault Center.  To contact us for information and services, please call 989-790-7500 or our crisis line at 989-790-9118.

Sources:  http://militaryrapecrisiscenter.org;

How EQ Can Help You Achieve Success

Over the past 25 years the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) has been gaining popularity among professionals seeking the key to greater success.  EQ has proven to be more than just an interesting idea.  Research has demonstrated that one's personal and professional success is determined by one's EQ to a greater degree than one's Intelligence Quotient (IQ).  In a nutshell, intelligence and technical skills can only take you so far.  The skills that take us to the next level are related to such things as emotional understanding, relationship building and self control.

There are countless examples of professionals who are "brilliant" and highly skilled in their field and who attain a measure of success but fail to reach their full potential because they lack strong EQ skills.  EQ is something thought of as a "soft skill", but the skills that define emotional intelligence are solid, definable and essential to navigate successfully through life.  Consider how important it is to read others well, to understand and control one's own feelings, to think clearly under pressure and to practice good decision making.

The most exciting thing about EQ is that we all have the capacity to develop and enhance the skills that encompass EQ.  We may not be able to improve our IQ, however through conscious effort, we can develop a higher EQ.

To learn more about Emotional Intelligence and how to develop the EQ skills critical to greater success, consider checking out a book on the topic  If you're interested in developing the skills necessary to take you to the next level, contact Pam Mays at 989-790-7500 for information about how to accurately assess your EQ skills and obtain coaching to enhance your EQ.

FBI Updates Their Definition of Rape After Over 80 Years

For many states, the Federal government has often been looked to set the standards, especially when it comes to legal definitions of crimes.  That's why it became a big deal recently when the FBI decided to rewrite their definition of rape.  When was the last definition written?  1927.

So what changed?  For starters, the original definition defined rape only as a crime against a female.  Males have not been included in the definition since the law was written, even though 2.78 million men in the United States have been sexually assaulted or raped.  That means 1 in 33 men will experience an attempted or completed sexual assault in their life.  For many of these victims, as seen with the Jerry Sandusky allegations, the victimization occurred when they were a child or teenager, but that doesn't mean an adult male can't be the victim of rape.

The sexual assault of men is grossly under-reported for many reasons.  Men and boys are told they are supposed to be tough, strong, and able to defend themselves.  They're afraid of being seen as weak or helpless if they admit to being a victim.  Their sexuality may even become an issue or possibly questioned.  There's also a fear of whether or not they'd be taken seriously if they report.  The truth is rape is rape, regardless of a victim's gender or age.

The other significant change to the definition is the previous requirement of resistance by the victim.  Before the change, if a woman did not physically resist the assailant, it would not be considered rape.  The new update brings the definition up to speed with other sexual assault laws in understanding the role coercion plays in rape.  If a victim is threatened, drugged, or drunk they are less likely to be able to physically resist a rapist, but fear alone can be enough for a victim.  A victim may fear harm to her/himself or to someone else they care about if they resist.

By updating their definition of rape, the FBI has taken a stand for victim's rights.  They have shown a more contemporary view of sexual assault and can set a standard for other laws on sexual assault which aren't up to date.