Should Sex Offenders Be Required to Show Their Status on Social Networks?

Louisiana's Gov. Bobby Jindal recently signed a law adding to the state's requirements for registered sex offenders.  This new law requires offenders to list their status as a sex offender, a notice of the crime they were convicted of, where they were convicted, a description of their physical appearance, and their address.  This law was created in response to a previous law which banned sexual predators from using the internet when it was declared unconstitutional by the courts.

Laws like these create a balancing act between the rights and safety of an individual versus the rights of the public.  The American Civil Liberties of Louisiana argued against the previous law based on it infringing on constitutional rights while proponents of the law argued for the rights of the public.

Although many social network sites, Facebook included, prohibit sex offenders from having an account, many often slip through the cracks.   States have started requiring registered offenders to release email addresses to them, but without a connecting system, social network sites cannot screen out user accounts as sex offenders on their own.  Perhaps then, Louisiana's new law is the answer.  Rather than risking the possibility of a predator slipping through the currently loose safeguards, it would essentially broadcast a warning.  It is far easier for a parole officer to verify an offender's compliance by checking their account than it is to dig through all of the accounts, over 300 million on Facebook alone.  Plus, is it really that much different from providing an offender's address on the sex offender registry?

Back in 2006, Kevin Poulsen, a writer for Wired Magazine, tested whether or not sex offenders could be identified as having a MySpace account, something MySpace denied was possible.  He wrote a computer code which compared the sex offender registry to MySpace accounts and proceeded to physically verify the data, going over pictures and information to make sure they matched up.  Not only did he find offenders with MySpace accounts, but he was also instrumental in the arrest of Andrew Lubrano, an offender that was actively preying on teen victims.

When offenders are already required to notify neighborhoods and schools of their status, is it too much to require them to also make that information available online?  When there's a risk of them preying on new victims, the answer is no.  When it's possible for anyone to have any number of fake Facebook accounts, it's a bit comforting to know somebody else is keeping their eye out.

Why is Sexual Abuse Overlooked?

As the Jerry Sandusky trial continued this past week over allegations of child sexual abuse, it has fueled the discussion of how do tragedies like this go on without anyone saying anything, especially when there are indications that personnel with authority had suspicions of what was taking place.  The Catholic Church suffered a scandal that still plagues them years later where priests who were accused of sexual assault were simply relocated without a word of warning.  There are questions of how much coach Joe Paterno knew was going on with Jerry Sandusky at Penn State.  Recently, reports have surfaced of sexual abuse by multiple teachers at a school in New York, Horace Mann, with suspicion on whether or not the head of the school was aware.  When people are so outraged by child sexual abuse, why then does no one act in cases like these?

Part of the reason is because the offenders don't fit the "profile" or picture that most people have of a sexual predator.  To most people, a sexual predator is a scary man in a white van looking to lure you in with the promises of toys and candy.  People believe predators are the outcasts of society, unable to work a decent job and so anti-social that there isn't a possibility they could be friends with one.  They're someone who easily stands out and we can point to for children to warn them of.  But as stated in previous blog entries, that is far from the case.

Why then do people still believe the "profile?"  It's because it helps us feel safe.  When bad people don't look like us it's easier to recognize them.  It's not comfortable to feel like anyone around you could not be what they seem.  People don't want to believe the victim in these cases because it would mean the monsters have gotten through the walls.  It would mean it could just as well have happened to us.  So instead, victims are shunned and blamed, not by everyone, but even if one person does it's too many.  You can find families that are divided when allegations surface against another family member.  The victims in the Jerry Sandusky trial have been accused of making false allegations for money.  Instead of listening to a victim people build more walls between us and them, except nobody realizes they are blocking themselves in with a sexual predator.

Staying Connected as a Family

It's 8:00 PM.  Mom is sitting on the sofa, reading her Kindle.  Dad is on his iPad playing with a newly downloaded app.  One kid is in his bedroom texting with friends from school, and the other kid is watching TV-essentially alone.

Does that sound like a weeknight at your house?  If so, you may be among a growing statistic. Many families are having a hard time staying connected with each other in this high-tech world we now live in.  I don't believe technology is the enemy, but time management and identifying priorities may be.

How do you stay connected as a family living in the 21st century?

Here are a few activities you can do with your family to stay connected:

1. Eat Dinner Together - sharing a meal and sharing each others day is a very powerful activity. 
2. Family Walk or Bike Ride - kids don't get enough physical activity and the time it takes to walk a block can provide important connection time with your child.
3. Family Night - Put each family member's name in a bowl and at the beginning of the week pull a name.  That person selects what to do on family night.  This allows everyone's interest to be shared by the family and the family learns more about each other.
4. Make A Date with Your Child - Once a month make a date with each child.  That date can be a one on one walk, movie, lunch or even errands.  Each child is an individual and it is important to appreciate them this way.

Volunteer Together - this helps families stay connected, realize the value of service to others.

Battling Victim Blaming

One of the biggest struggles when confronting sexual assault and rape are the attitudes and misinformation manifesting into acts of victim blaming.  Its origins can rise out of malicious sexism or subtle myths that have been perpetrated for years.  It shames victims from coming forward and reporting an attack, pushing onto them the idea that what happened was their fault.  Victim blaming also removes guilt from an assailant, telling them they weren't in control of their actions and that a victim caused them to do it.

Nobody would ever blame a bank for being robbed, saying it was their fault for having cash on hand, yet victims of sexual violence often face judgement for being a victim of a crime.  They hear things like "what was she wearing?  How much did she have to drink?  Who was she with?  What was she doing there? She should have known better."  Even child victims are put through this scrutiny, being accused of talking to a stranger or not doing what they were told regardless of the facts of an abduction.

Even people who are trying to help by offering their "safety tips" can put more pressure on victims.  Telling women not to wear dresses or to cut their hair because it attracts rapists makes it sound like the attacker has no control.  It also tells victims "that's where you screwed up" when none of those factors contributed to the assault.  These "tips" tell a victim if she reports the crime, she won't be treated with respect.

So how do we fight victim blaming?

Education:  By educating people on the facts of sexual assault and dispelling the myths, we help people understand sexual assault is not a crime the victim caused but the choice and actions made by the assailant.

Bystander Intervention:  If someone makes a statement that sounds like victim blaming, take the time to inform them of the facts.  Ask them how whatever the victim did could physically make someone commit a rape or if they feel the victim deserved to be raped.  The truth is most people have never thought that much about sexual assault and just repeat things they've heard.

Empathy for Victims:  By showing empathy for victims of sexual assault, we can help them feel safe from judgement and understand the attack was not their fault.  It will also show them there is someone who supports them and that they are not alone.

If each of us take the time to do one of these three things, we can create an atmosphere where victims can feel safe and where perpetrators know their actions won't be tolerated.